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If the female is wrong, it is because of an egregarious misunderstanding which was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do, or did not say. If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. The female may, however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is paying attention. Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed at the sole discretion of the female. The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify, enlarge, embellish, of wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive, pig-headed, dense, deceitful, and/or oafish. The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he has bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations, or rationalizations will not be entertained.

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph ased, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95? "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, and Ken's furniture A woman is driving on the road & A man is driving in the opposite direction, on that same road & When they pass each other, the woman rolls down her window and shouts - HORSE Immediately the man shouts back - Bitch ! Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just because he loves u that much to quit it. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? * Anonymous ------------------------------------------------------------------- Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

They were singing "Happy Birthday" And there I sat, on the couch, naked!!! A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. " In a condescending manner, she said, "Which Barbie? ONE, He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. * Scottish Proverb ------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't worry about terrorism. * Sam Kinison ------------------------------------------------------------------- A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. Mencken ------------------------------------------------------------------- Marriage is a three ring circus: * engagement ring ---wedding ring ---suffering ------------------------------------------------------------------- When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Probably the most powerful income-reducing agent known. 2) Element Name: MANIUM Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 /- 50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged period of time. "No electronic signatures authorized." What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man? Why does it take one million sperm to fertilise one egg? A man walks into a bar with an alligator on a leash. Crotch like a clown's pocket Voluptuous.................... God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. ----- Another Version: How to shower like a woman Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according tolights and darks. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs. The result: Drink: Beer Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass. Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing? She noted that women customarily walked about 10 paces behind their husbands She returned to Kabul recently and observed that the men now walked several paces behind their wives. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and said, "This is marvelous. _________________________________________________________ BOY : May I hold your hand?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : Say you love me! BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.. He says "the wedding rings look too much like miniature handcuffs....." ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man smart woman = romance Smart man dumb woman = affair Dumb man smart woman = marriage Dumb man dumb woman = pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss smart employee = profit Smart boss dumb employee = production Dumb boss smart employee = promotion Dumb boss dumb employee = overtime SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. A: Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey. A: Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first. A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. A: Not usually, but occasionally you'll find a floozy. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul several years before the Afghan conflict. _________________________________________________________ GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? _________________________________________________________ GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? " ------------------------------------------------------------------- Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married. and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! If you think that hickey looks like a blister You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable". She went into the bedroom &, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children & dozens of friends. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. He drove to the mall, ran to the toy store, and said to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window? How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? * Oscar Wilde ------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.