This language of deprivation implies a total lack of female agency and it places a value on not having had sex. So is it really any wonder, given the implication that sex changes you, that when the condom comes off and you’re lying under your One Direction duvet cover feeling absolutely no different, that you regret it? I imagine partially because of the very different experiences boys and girls usually have from early sexual encounters.Sex is generally regarded as a pleasant experience for an inexperienced boy, and usually ends in an orgasm.Sadly young women don’t tend to experience the same thing.
Boys are “still” virgins, and are traditionally praised for losing their virginity.
When rapper Chris Brown announced that he lost his virginity at the age of eight, there was shock, but the reaction was split between shock and amusement, where as if a female singer had said the same thing she would have universally been seen as a victim of abuse.
Once upon a time a woman’s virginity was important because we were uteruses on legs.
Our purpose was to provide our husbands, whether he was a jerkin-wearing sheep farmer, or the next King of England, with a son.
A major culprit for the fetishisation of the “perfect” first time is teenage magazines, which churn out the message that you had to wait for the perfect person; it should be in the perfect situation; and candles, flowers and music are essential.