Instead, you want to key into the same emotional processes that humor does.
When people talk about wanting somebody who makes them laugh, it’s not because they want to date Robin Williams, but because of what laughter Laughter makes us feel good and the more somebody makes us feel good, the more we want to spend time with them. Can you make them enjoy themselves while they’re hanging out with you and have a good time?
Abusers tend to push for commitment very quickly; it’s part of how they start the cycle of control. Confident, emotionally well-balanced men rarely come off as needy.
And believe me, neediness can be as abusive and as toxic as being overbearing or domineering. But if you’re especially worried about demonstrating neediness in the early stages of dating, then be willing to let your date set the pace.
Other times, it’s because people have their way of schtupping and aren’t going to change for love nor money, no matter how bored their partner gets counting cracks in the ceiling.