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“If I’m not forced to make that decision, then I won’t. ’” Benchers will tell you that their behavior is a way to put a relationship on hold, to hit pause before deciding how they really want to play it.

If I know that I’m in a position of status because you want me more than I want you, I’ll just keep you dangling. But if we’re to be honest, benching is just the slow kiss-off.

It’d be one thing if we were occasionally hanging out (or even becoming fuck buddies), but that never happened.

I’d invite him over, but his phone always “died omg so sorry.” Every time I was ready to dismiss him, though, he’d find some way to make his presence known.

Know that if it’s happening to you, you’re getting dumped, even if the bencher doesn’t know it yet.