I had manners, I'd pick up the phone in the middle of the night when she'd call in tears and I was always available when she needed me emotionally and/or physically. The reason guys use the “sort their lives out” excuse (which is what it is — an excuse) is because it's an easy out that requires little-to-no explanation. Is there any chance you're coming on too strong with these guys?In other words, she wanted to “try on” a nice guy because her ex-boyfriend was an “asshole” — her words, not mine. It's his way of telling you, “Hey, it's been fun, but I'm moving on.”Since you say this has happened repeatedly, it's obviously become a trend in your dating life, and you should do some reflecting. That when the three-month milestone hits, you push too hard for exclusivity, without having a mutual discussion?You're setting yourself up for failure because, by definition, everything you do is failure unless other people react in ways you Do you see how dangerous this is?
As such, she'd have her three-month fling with me, and then she'd be onto the next so-called asshole she (a mere month ago) deemed unfit for a relationships. Like I said, I think your eagerness to find a man is making others perceive you as too available or — dare I say — desperate. If you're looking for something serious, odds are, you won't find it there, because dating apps are as low-investment as they come.
OK, so you're 28, and society leads us to believe the closer you get to 30, the more concerned you should be about settling down with a dude and popping out children.
I was on Tinder for a while after my ex broke up with me, and I vowed that, if things didn't work out with this last guy, I would delete the app and take on the traditional dating approach: meeting someone the old-school way. I also like to take all experiences — whether good or bad — on board so I can grow as a person. I'm 28 years old and heading in the direction of settling down. What you've reaped from our column is exactly what we wanted, so I want to offer my thanks for letting us know our goal has been met — that's awesome.
But now, let's get to what you really want figured out: why you've become “the stand-in girl.”As a former “rebound guy” (a position I reluctantly adopted in my early 20s), I found the primary reason why I was so fit for the rebound was because I was the opposite of who these women dated in the past. But based on your own testimony, your past relationships have been relatively short, which suggests maybe you aren't the kind of partner you insist you are.
So instead of dropping your lure in those same, murky waters, find yourself another lake. Bobby Annie, First of all, I think I speak for everyone when I say thank you for the life history.